new year resolution...

Today is the last working day for 2005. So like most jokers out there the Webster is also thinking of a so called new year resolution for 2006.
So what will be a good new year resolution? Something cool so that when I tell people, they will go ‘wah lau eh! Sure you can ah?’
So what leh? What is a good resolution leh?
Start a journal? - Boring lah. that is what lonely old neurotic bachelor women (sounds way better than spinsters) do every night before they sleep lah. besides what for lah.
Start a blog? - Too late, already done that. Stoopid me, should have started this blog a bit later, at least can claim that it is my 2006 resolution.
Earn more money? – What the Flying F*** lah. I am already half dead trying to make ends meet here and wanna earn more money some more? You think so easy to earn money ah?
Become a millionaire? – *Look at the line above*
Adopt a healthier lifestyle? – hard to measure lah. besides normally people who suggest this to you are those people who sell those “food supplement” that you “take-one-a-day-and-you-will-be-healthier-because-it-has-one-million-vitamins-and-minerals-that-you-can-never-get-enough-from-your-daily-diet-which-by-the-way-you-pay-an-arm-and-a-leg-plus-your-other-appendage-for-a-two-months-supply-which-you-can-get-a-big-discount-if-you-join-us-as-a-member-and-introduce-our-product-to-your-friend-who-you-can-be-their-up-line-and-they-can-do-the-selling-while-you-get-a-percentage-of-their-sale-and-you-can-then-earn-money-at-home-and-retire-at-35”. No Thanks
Get laid? – done oredi
Be nicer to others? – What for? I’m already nice. Go ask Mrs Webster.

So what is a cool new year resolution ah? Which of course should be attainable….

Ah! I know! I’ll stop smoking!

Besides what good can smoking do.
Some more Govt is always increasing the tax of ciggies. Wanna increase tax, go increase on other things lah. Now force me to stop smoking oredi.
Also now since taking in this job in new department, the work colleagues all no smoking type one and some more make face when you talk to them. As if lah I got some disease or something. No more kaki, also so sien lah.
Some more, if no smoking no need to carry lighter in my jeans pocket and no need to have it poking me at the thighs. One hard piece of rod poking in my pants is enough, no need for two.
Some more it will be good for once to join in the Govt organized program. Namely Tak Nak.
Maybe I can even save some money.

So ok Lah… Smoking it is. I’ll Quit smoking. Come 31 st December, I will not smoke anymore. So if any of you see me smoking, walk up to me and give me a “you bad boy!” face. One caveat though, I think cigar still ok lah right. Cannot go so cold turkey at one go mah.

But quitting must have strategy one mah. My mouth and fingers will have all these extra free time. So what to do with them? More cursing and ‘up yours!’? I think I’ll probably do what most ppl do, eat more sweets lah. Anyone got any suggestion on what sweet is good ah? I oredi becoming numb of that black hacks sweet oredi. BTW, please also make your suggestion sugar free one. This year dental bill already bought my dentist’s kid a new camera phone (plus accessories). But what the heck lah. I baru remember that I don’t smoke one lah. so how can I quit if I have not started? So like this can consider already accomplish my new year resolution ah? I think can lah. good lah. new year resolution completed and done deal oredi. Can coast through the year with no pressure to accomplish anything.

the big wait...

As mentioned before the websters were down at kalumpo for a wedding dinner on the 26th. The dinner was supposed to be held at a Chinese restaurant near mid valley. So we mah check in at a hotel at mid valley loh. You know lah, dun wanna be late for the dinner mah. Wedding dinner invitation say that dinner will start at 7.00pm and they add some more to ‘please lah be on time’. So being good wedding guest we were on time at 7pm sharp.
News flash, kalumpo people are also like penang people…. They take their own sweet time to get their fat as* to go to dinners.
So what to do, tunggu loh…..
7.15pm….
7.30pm….
8.00pm….
Still no dinner. Then later the groom came and told us that whole mid valley got no gas wor… and they cannot cook wor….
8.15pm!!!
8.30pm!!!
Still no food and the restaurant manager spoke thru the mike that ‘ they got no gas and dinner will come out at 8.45pm
aiYOH!!!
Then 8.45 came and went
9.00pm
Only see something… the food presentation. Those jokers have the sick humor of doing food presentation by parading around the restaurant with the first dish some more. Who cares about that lah.
That suckling pig skin thingy. That’s it??? 2 hours and only eat skin???
Ok lah maybe the next dish will follow suit
9.15pm…
9.20pm only see the shark fin. Wah … hantam kuat kuat…and had seconds some more….
And after that the dishes are pretty ok oredy. But don’t ask me about the food quality… I don’t know. Everything taste the same after you have waited for 2 hours.

In the end methinks the restaurant really screw up. No one from the management came up and say something except the point when the make the announcement from a mike somewhere on the delay.
Luckily in between the wait, there were a few old uncles who came up to the stage to sing some karaoke at least got some entertainment…. But even that the restaurant people also managed to slip in some of their screw up. The play the wrong song lah, then some more in the middle of the ah pek singing, they play another song lah… betul betul screw up.

Well, at least the only good thing is, the next time I go to a wedding dinner my story will definitely be the top if someone at the table complains about having to wait.

kalumpo!

Went down to kalumpo with mrs Webster last weekend. Mrs Webster’s friend was getting married on the 26th and we were invited to the dinner that night. We had the bright idea of driving down very early in the morning to beat the heat and also test out the theory of ‘police speed traps people don’t work so early’. So all the way we did not see any speed trap and the drive down was smooth. That is of course until we reach kalumpo.
And needless to say, we were customarily lost the minute we got off the highway. So we ended up swallowing up our pride and got a taxi driver to lead us to the hotel. Turns out that the hotel is only 5 minutes drive away from the point where we got the taxi. Kaw sai lah. So near yet so far, but in retrospect, considering the after getting lost for an hour, don’t care lah.

Will blog some more on the dinner and other stuff that happened in kalumpo later. No mood to write lah…

un-kaching!

Got a mail today from adsense review board that they cannot approve my application to have adsense attached to this blog. The reason given was with regards to the content. According to them it violates their policy. Bottom line is the content should not have language that encourages the reader to click on the ads. I am still working on the logic of that but i think it’s pretty cool that there are people who really read my blog. For this case they are reading because it’s their job and they have to do that, but it’s still a reader anyway. Cool!
This is really cool, they really have people who work behind the so called ‘cold internet wall’. I have always thought that these thing are automated.
So what am going to be doing about the content thingy. Dunno lah, too lazy to edit and delete that blog with the ‘encouraging’ content but on the other hand the blog looks so bland. Lemme think about it first lah. It’s not like those so call freedom of speech thing or what, it’s just that I’m not really in the mood to change anything yet.
So for now, the kaching! will be muted….

Merry Christmas. Not Xmas, but Christmas.

As we enter into the Christmas weekend, I feel obligated to write something and wish all the unfortunate souls who stumbled upon this spot a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

For this year’s Christmas, why not for a change go visit a church or a Christmas function somewhere to enjoy some Christmas songs. If you are already attending church then go some more, but if you have not been to a church before, this is a good opportunity to go to one even if you are not a Christian. Christmas is the best time to sing those whoop-tee-do Christmas songs. You know you like them. What better way to enjoy them than to sing with a bunch of people you barely know. Of course it is more fun to sing with a bunch of friends, but you'll need to figure out how to get your bunch of friends to join you.
There will be food and drinks.
Best of all, some might even have plays by amateur actors. The plot might be the same and predictable, but it will surely give you a kick in watching asian kids dressing up and play characters of middle eastern men in the nativity scene.

So go lah, if not for the food nor cheesy plays, go for the singing, I bet you will get a kick out of it.

Don’t worry about not knowing the words, they’ll have the lyrics on the projector or little books with lyrics on them.
Don’t worry about not having a good voice, no one will know, and if you really do sing out of key just pretend to look at the person next to you as if he is the one who is out of key.
Don’t worry about feeling odd because you are not a Christian, you are not there to be judged and besides, it’s a non-membership meeting and it’s not like they will be wearing any special Church issues glasses that can screen out the Christians from the non Christians.
Don’t worry and think that you’ll become one of those “Christian fellas” if you attend church, going there does not make you one just like going to the library will make you smart.
Don’t worry about people coming to you and trying to sell certain ideas to you and trying to convince you to become ‘one of us’ (you know, like those am-way people), just take whatever books or papers that they give you and tell them you will call them if you are interested and you know how to reach them. No obligation what so ever to give your contact to them.
Don’t worry about having to sit thru the Speaker talking and sharing, if you get bored just go up and go to the toilet, then linger around until he is finished. But don’t go too far because normally after the speaking is the eating. And you wouldn’t wanna miss that.

So go look for one that is organizing and go lah. go an sing your hearts out, I can guarantee that you’ll enjoy it.

kaching!

Added adsense on this blog. I think it is suppose to earn me money when people click on the ads that appears on this blog.
Hmmmmm……. Need to get more people to come to this blog and click on those ads. But how ah? No scandalous stories to tell leh, maybe put some naked pictures will help traffic, but then again, what for lah, will just end up defeating the purpose of this blog…But what is the purpose of this blog anyway? A deep seeded form of exhibitionism? A shout for attention from the little Webster inside of me? Well, what ever it is, do I really need to justify for everything? I guess not. At least to myself. So get over your voyeuristic self. Quit reading and start clicking on those ads.

charlie, charlie, charlie .....

Watched si Charlie dan kilang cokelat yesterday. A bit freaky movie. But I like it though.
Favourite character is definitely the oompa-loompa guy. For a guy that small, he sure can do a lot of things. I wonder if the actor gets paid as one actor or multiple…
The grandpa guy is pretty interesting. Dunno why, just feel that he is a friendly guy. Besides i always like old folks with life stories.

Now Willy Wonka is where it gets really freaky.
For one, ke kinda reminds me of micheal Jackson. Kids, and toys and the high pitched voice. too freaky for me….
And then there’s the name. Wonka… sounds like something you do when you need to ‘love yourself’. You know, the date with Mary Palmer? or Harriet Handson for that matter? and you do know that Mary nor Harriet are not real persons right……
To top it of they have to name him Willy. How obvious can you get? that is just one step short of willy wonka-ing in your face.... bleargh!

So you can put your lunch money that you will not be seeing me with a caramel filled Wonka bar…. if it’s really caramel….

like this lah... baru syok

just remembered reading in papers that Xmen 3 will have the Beast. like this lah... baru syok.
but i dunno if putting kelsey grammer (right spelling ah?) to play the will be right. he has that gentleman kinda side, but hopefully the neurotic side as seen in frasier will not emerge...

itchi throat...

throat feeling better now. good lah, at least recovered in time for the weekend. still got a bit of itchiness but don't care lah.
the thing about cough medicine is , it gives you the best sleep ever. but the down side is i normally wake up groggy. well you can't have them all.
some more last nite rain some more and even better better for sleep.
cough medicine + rain = best concotion for sleep.
there must be some kinda of function or something in penang. since last nite and this morning have been hearing those sirens of the police escorts in bukit jambul area. wonder which bigass in in penang this weekend.
this reminded me to this ad that they keeps playing on the radio. you know, the one about giving way to the ambulance and police patrol car. "Because some one's life may be in danger". so the logic is this, if there is a lone ambulance shreiking siren on the road that will essentially mean that someone's life is in danger right. therefore if i follow the same logic, if there is a troop of traffic cops shreiking sirens and blocking the roda, then is must means that some one's life is in MORE danger. because it is pretty obvious that the cops on bikes are really serious of making sure that you move out of the way.

ambulance + Siren = some one life is in danger
some bigwig VIP + police + siren = some one life in more danger?
tarak logik langsung!!

some more, these jokers are always late for their functions even with the police escorts anyway. what gives? if you are planning to be late oredi then might as well no need escort lah. want escort go get that other type of escort servive lah.

ok lah ok lah enuf komplain.
boing to take bath oredi lah.
malas mau layan....

poop...

Woke up with a sore throat this morning and feel like poop…. (can I say sh*t ah?) Actually not really, since I don’t remember being a poop in previous lives ( not that I believe in reincarnation, but just to mention it here so that I can write something).
Yesterday already started coughing but with phlegm buildup in my throat but thought that my home remedy of drinking coca cola will help fizz it away. Home remedy seem to work, in fact it worked so well that instead of phlegm, I ended up with sore and dry throat.
So move on to next strategy, drink water. Even mau tidur also drink water. But the thing about sore throat is, after 10 mins, the dryness comes back. (hmmm dry ness sounds something like a ‘women-monthly-plumbing-drip-drip’ pad commercial in tv. Yucks!) .
so now in bed and my throat is dry…. The thing about gravity is that once you are in a horizontal position, gravity seems to go on turbo boost and it is extremely hard to go back to a vertical position.
So here’s the dilemma ….
drink or not…
drink or not…
drink or not…
drink or not…
drink or not…
drink or not…

aiyah F it lah, drink lah and go back to bed. Still cannot sleep. Turn here, turn there, turn here, turn there, scratch a bit here… still no sleep
Screw it lah, 10 mins later, as if clock work, now need to pee pulak, and my throat is starting to dry
So now another dilemma…
drink or not…
pee or not…
drink or not…
pee or not…
drink or not…
pee ot not
drink or not…
drink or not…
drink or not…

and we all know what happen.
So the vicious cycle went on the whole night and now that I think about it, probably the thing that I say about feeling like poop does have some truth in it. Probably all the water I drank last night diluted my internal organs into one huge mass of blob….

Foot note:
Can a person drink so much that when he/she farts, he/she’ll fart pee? And while we are on that subject, I wonder if a person can fart and burp simultaneously?
Darn…. Looks like another sleepless night again thinking about these world crisis type issue….

mari! mari!mariiiiii! mari tengok Pesta

went to the Pesta with mrs. Webster on Monday night. That was the first time after many many many years. never knew why it took me so long to do a revisit. I’ve been living in bayan baru area for close to 10 years but never seem to be in the mood to go. So, the story goes that the in-laws were planning to go and see the Chinese acrobat thingy and since I am conveniently located in lip sin area, it just makes perfect sense to tag along.
Anyway, the stalls looks more like a high end pasar malam to me, but then again I am not sure of what to expect in a real pesta anyway. Lots of pasar malam – ish things on display with the addition of some stalls from across the borders. There’s stalls from Thai, Indonesia , but for the life of me, cannot find one from singapura (not that I was looking anyway).
Then there’s the rides, got roller coaster (yeah right!), got ferris wheel, got bumper cars and various contraptions that will fling your balls all around the place. Wah lau eh, so many rides, I wonder if got scrambled eggs incidents or not. …. “Ladies and gents welcome to ride Challenger. We will be taking off shortly so please make sure that your seats are adjusted to the upright position, wear your seat belts and make sure papayas or chest nuts are tucked away properly.”
So overall pesta is ok lah. i will definite come back again the next 20 years to mark my next attendance.

bye caroline, hi richard

For the past week or so I have resisted the urge to change my radio station to light n easy on my daily morning ride to work. Come on lah, it’s the morning, I wanna go to work and I wanna start my day with a good attitude. Why lah would I wanna listen to ppl writing in with their problems and on top of that have ppl calling in and give their opinions about it. It’s ike waking up to the smell of the garbage truck. So until Simon gets to speak more and the station is really going back to real light n easy, my ears will be for Richard and mix fm.

21 guns salute

so there you go. this is my first blog...
no free opening ceremony buffet
no paluan kompang
no 'bu long sai'

so there you have it